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Self-confidence implies having a genuine belief in oneself and their abilities. Trusting your potential and acting toward it results in an increased realization of your self-worth.
In this podcast, Jocelyn M. Reaves, the founder of Fireside Insights, talks about the facets of self-confidence and its impact on our lives.
Key Takeaways
- Clarity, consciousness, confidence — in that order. Jocelyn's three-step framework starts with identifying the trigger (what situation or person makes you shrink), then bringing conscious awareness to the moment it fires, then consciously overriding it. Confidence is the output, not the starting point.
- Confidence from external validation isn't confidence — it's ego strokes. If the accolades stop, the confidence collapses. True confidence is "unwavering regardless of circumstances" and has to come from within. This is also why imposter syndrome is endemic in workplaces that reward by comparison.
- Imposter syndrome: beat it by listing facts, not thoughts. When the comparison spiral starts, she writes down a concrete list of accomplishments. The intrusive thoughts are just thoughts; the accomplishments are facts. Grounding in the facts dispels the narrative.
- Your uniqueness is why you're in the room. Employers don't hire, promote, or reward people with identical credentials. Being different from the other people at the table is usually the reason you were selected — not evidence you don't belong.
- People-centric leadership builds team confidence. Jocelyn's prescription for managers: don't run feedback as a list of fixes — lead with specific strengths, then name the area to improve. And in meetings, actively invite the quiet listeners to speak before the extroverts close out the conversation. Otherwise you lose their input and their confidence.
- "Do your work" is the unglamorous confidence hack. Positive affirmations only go so far if you haven't prepared. Dress the part, research the room, come ready. Walking in knowing you deserve to be there is confidence you earned, not manifested.
- If the role isn't yours, no program fixes it. She argues workplace insecurity often signals the wrong lane, not a character deficit. Self-confidence interventions can't compensate for being in a job that isn't aligned with what you're actually called to do.
In Jocelyn's Words
On what confidence actually is
Self-confidence is a fundamental trust or belief in yourself — unwavering regardless of circumstances. That you can and will get through what you're going through, and that you have the ability and purpose of taking up space in this world.
The world can give you accolades, a pat on the back. But unless you're continuously getting that, you're always going to feel some level of unfulfillment. True confidence comes from within.
On imposter syndrome in the workplace
The fact that you're different in your success or your career trajectory — that doesn't look like someone else's — is probably the reason you're in the room in the first place. People are not hiring, promoting, or rewarding individuals who all bring the same thing to the table. Your uniqueness is your superpower.
It's so easy to think of all the things you haven't done, but the list of things you have done is way longer. Those thoughts roaming in your mind telling you you're an imposter — those are just thoughts. The facts are all of the things you've accomplished.
On negative self-talk and "I am"
When you use "I am" in a sentence, it's an affirmation. Even "I am tired" — if you're feeling that, what about "I'm catching my second wind," which Oprah coined? You call into your life exactly what your "I am" statement is.
When a negative thought comes, ask why. "I'm not worthy." Why? "Because I made a mistake in XYZ." Well, everyone makes mistakes. When you keep asking why, those negative beliefs fall apart.
On how leaders build team confidence
Take a people-centric rather than a task-centric approach. When team members feel empowered, confident, and valued, they show up eager and willing to add the value that they know you see in them.
In company settings, the extroverts get all the credit. The quieter ones are gathering information, synthesising before they speak — and often the meeting ends before they get there. As a leader, notice who hasn't spoken and ask: "What do you think?" That tells them their input is valuable and gives them a protected space to contribute.
Constructive feedback isn't a list of fixes. "I realise your strengths are this — here's what you did well on this project — and we need to focus on this to get it where it needs to be." Now the person leaves with balance, not just criticism.
On competing coworkers and on doing the work
When someone on your team is competing instead of collaborating, maybe they're going through their own confidence issues and feel they have to prove themselves to be appreciated. Lending empathy lets you show up as a leader within the organisation.
Positive affirmations can only do so much if you don't come to the table prepared. Do your part. Come to the office, come to the meeting prepared. Dress the part. Look the part. Do your research so you can feel as good as you can walking into a space, knowing you deserve to be there.
About the Speaker
Do your work. Come to the office, come to the meeting prepared. Dress the part. Look the part. Do your research so that you can feel as good as you can, walking into a space, knowing that you deserve to be there. - Jocelyn Reaves
Jocelyn Michelle Reaves, MPH, is a healthcare executive turned entrepreneur. Realizing her passion for healthcare stemmed from her desire to help people actualize their potential and provide tactical solutions to create transformative change, Reaves founded Fireside Insights and CoachedIT to develop people and help businesses reach their career goals.
In addition to her companies Fireside Insights, which provides strategic and operational support to businesses, and CoachedIT, which helps connect humans with highly qualified coaches and resources, she is also the host of Confidence Daily-a digital lifestyle magazine with the sole goal of helping women cultivate confidence in every aspect of self-care in life.
Connect with her on Linkedin.
Show Notes
(01:04) Tell us about your wellness journey.
(01:50) What is self-confidence? Can self-confidence be learned or developed over time?
(02:48) Do you think there is a reason behind low self-confidence?
(04:47) How can we identify the factors behind low self-confidence?
(07:24) Is self-confidence built over external factors?
(10:22) How can we overcome imposter syndrome and feeling like we don't belong?
(13:06) Is low self-esteem related to low self-confidence?
(15:46) How can we challenge negative self-talk and cultivate more positive self-talk?
(19:27) How can we cope with setbacks and failures while still maintaining our self-confidence?
(25:18) What are some common thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to low self-confidence?
(29:27) How can mindfulness and self-compassion practices help us boost our self-confidence?
(32:26) How can we build self-confidence in the workplace and our careers?
(38:34) How can employers help employees develop self-confidence?
(41:55) What are some tips for building self-confidence in both personal and professional relationships?
(45:06) Would you like to give us some valuable suggestions?
